Dragonchasing
Sep. 29th, 2002 01:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tugrikMusic reaches into my head and fiddles with my moods and outlooks with a distant but accurate touch. It leaves me wanting an outlet for the mindscapes created; to draw, to sing, to produce... anything! It's like scrabbling at a wall only to have your hands slush through like so much fluid. The abilities to express are there, and are real, but are so soft and untrained that they flow through my hands instead of providing the purchase upon which to climb.
Sitting in cold air that teases of a real Fall, headphones in and tunes drifting through, I feel astir in a swirl of sweetened moods. Longing bridged by hopefulness, reflection rocked by discovery, lonliness run through by adventure. There's no negativity to it all, save for the outcry to express it being mocked by my inability to do so.
So I sit, I listen. I chase dragons in my mind -- the wonder of discovery and challenge of self more than worth the risks of being singed and clawed. Snippets of weighted lyrics punctuate the stalk and the pounce... driving rhythms of hard instrumental electronics embolden the chase and hasten the snarl-and-claw driven retreats. The music dances with the hunt, and I dance with it... or does it dance for me, pulled by mass and motion? Head up, watching the sky, a feeling of danger and wonder. What nears? A desire to catch? A terror to run from? They can fly, and I cannot. Hunch down, hide, watch... then give chase once more, crashing through the brush into the exposed open.
...
Eventually the damn batteries run out, the magic that was tapping at my ears wafting into nothingness with the mechanical *ffzt* of a DSP chip going comatose.
I needed sleep anyways. Dragons are eternal, so I'm pretty sure they'll be there tomorrow.
Sitting in cold air that teases of a real Fall, headphones in and tunes drifting through, I feel astir in a swirl of sweetened moods. Longing bridged by hopefulness, reflection rocked by discovery, lonliness run through by adventure. There's no negativity to it all, save for the outcry to express it being mocked by my inability to do so.
So I sit, I listen. I chase dragons in my mind -- the wonder of discovery and challenge of self more than worth the risks of being singed and clawed. Snippets of weighted lyrics punctuate the stalk and the pounce... driving rhythms of hard instrumental electronics embolden the chase and hasten the snarl-and-claw driven retreats. The music dances with the hunt, and I dance with it... or does it dance for me, pulled by mass and motion? Head up, watching the sky, a feeling of danger and wonder. What nears? A desire to catch? A terror to run from? They can fly, and I cannot. Hunch down, hide, watch... then give chase once more, crashing through the brush into the exposed open.
...
Eventually the damn batteries run out, the magic that was tapping at my ears wafting into nothingness with the mechanical *ffzt* of a DSP chip going comatose.
I needed sleep anyways. Dragons are eternal, so I'm pretty sure they'll be there tomorrow.
