Overvisualization
Feb. 12th, 2003 12:22 pmI'm normally quite prone to daydreaming... enough that I function pretty well with one or more daydreamy type things going on as separate, multithreaded tasks. I don't know why it's this way, but it's calming/comforting most of the time. I've got a good enough handle on it that it doesn't impact my work and I'm still focussed enough on the task at hand to keep co-workers/friends happy.
Now and then, though, a good mood or good dreams can go too far. Have you ever seen or felt something so strongly you were just aching to create, and make it real? To draw, to film, to sing... something. Just so whatever it is that's playing out in your head can be made physical to share. And... then not have the skills to do it?
This creates an odd sense of 'over-visualization'... where things feel so strong and so good you just want to laugh out loud, dance, scream, sing, animate, anything, even though the body is sitting there at a desk, diligently doing the day's work. You want to share it with the world but at the same time feel impotently chained to an un-creative body that you just can't do a damn thing with. A blend of exhiliration and disappointment that, unsurprisingly, evens out into a pretty neutral mood. It's just the occasional flinches of emotion towards each extreme that are uncomfortable.
Now and then, though, a good mood or good dreams can go too far. Have you ever seen or felt something so strongly you were just aching to create, and make it real? To draw, to film, to sing... something. Just so whatever it is that's playing out in your head can be made physical to share. And... then not have the skills to do it?
This creates an odd sense of 'over-visualization'... where things feel so strong and so good you just want to laugh out loud, dance, scream, sing, animate, anything, even though the body is sitting there at a desk, diligently doing the day's work. You want to share it with the world but at the same time feel impotently chained to an un-creative body that you just can't do a damn thing with. A blend of exhiliration and disappointment that, unsurprisingly, evens out into a pretty neutral mood. It's just the occasional flinches of emotion towards each extreme that are uncomfortable.
Come into my dream / let me show you where I've been...
no subject
Date: 2003-02-12 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-12 08:38 pm (UTC)Once many, many years ago I woke up with a beautiful song (instrumental) in my head, and was dying to somehow preserve it, write it down or something, but I didn't know how to- and lost it forever by that night.... all I remember is that it was beautiful.
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Date: 2003-02-12 08:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-02-13 12:51 am (UTC)I wish I could remember the song the Wind taught me that one night when I was walking home late from a friends house though!
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Date: 2003-02-13 02:38 am (UTC)I sympathize, oh yes.