I keep forgetting I make people go 'eep!'

[tugrik]

So I'm on the way in to work as usual. Some PowerBusinessWoman(tm) comes roaring up behind me in an expensive, overpowered convertible. She's talking on a celphone and drinking coffee. Frustrated that her utter lack of tactics has wedged her behind two cars, namely mine and a truck beside me... and not wanting to drop back and shift over two lanes into the fast lane to get around, she instead animatedly curses (waving of the hands and whatnot) and proceeds to get within mere inches of my rear bumper.

Instead of slowing down more and escalating the situation, I accelerate a little to open the gap so she can pass. She slams the gas and slot-cars between us while giving the corner of my bumper a 'love tap'. Her little convertible motor spooled up and she roared on past, giving dirty looks the whole while. On up the road she goes, now doing over 70, even though it's a 35mph city street.

...and turns into my work parking lot. :)

I pull in and get an opportune space from someone who just pulled out. Checking the bumper I find only the smallest hint of a mark, which I was able to scuff off with my hand; no big deal. Meanwhile she proceeds to circle the back lot once or twice before finding a slot. By the time I get to the rear door, she's powerwalking towards it, coffee and briefcase in hand, looking pissed at the world.

"They're called turn signals, you know. You should at least use them when you're going to drive like an unsafe idiot and almost hit people. You clipped my bumper, in fact."

She stopped dead in her tracks, looked up at me and freaked.

You see... I'd utterly forgotten about the fact that I'm 6'5" and huge... and she was 5'-something and skinny-power-jogger-lady, probably around 35-40yr old range. What was supposed to be a 'hey, you drove like a jerk, be nicer next time' became BIG SCARY MAN THREATENING TINY LADY in her mind. Oh, joy.. You could see the oh crap look light up her face.

Recognizing this, I added "I'm only here because I work here, lady. Deal." before walking in. She was already bolting back to her car as I said this. Feeling pissy, I added a nice heard-across-the-lot "Chill out and learn how to drive" and then headed up to my office. When I got up to my window-seat on the 2nd floor I saw her on her celphone in her car, gesticulating wildly. Eventually she came back to the door and went into the front office of thet mortgage place (which makes sense as they're the only real tenant in my building that gets regular amounts of customers).

Part of me is glad to tell off someone who was being seriously unsafe on the road. Another is righteously indignant about the fact that I can't safely lay into someone verbally due to being the Big Male. If her phone call had been to the police to complain that some big scary man was out to crush her I'd be getting a visit from the PoPo and would be instantly pronounced guilty in their eyes. It doesn't help that I'm wearing this huge bronze skull biker-shirt. Everybody else gets to be grouchy now and then and they're not nailed to the wall for it... and it upsets me that I really can't do so due to society's perception of men being the agressors.

More importantly, the bulk of my feelings were centered around disappointment in both society (people like her that need to be PowerTerrors on the road) and myself for not dealing with it properly. The proper way would have been to take down her license plate and call in a 'reckless driver' report. While the CHP won't ticket/prosecute anything they don't see, they will note it on her record as a 'citizen complaint'. If you get a handful of those on your record then things happen. I shouldn't have confronted her, even though we were going through the same door at the same time for legitimate reasons. Even though it's on foot and after the fact, it's still a form of Road Rage. Road Rage is never good and definately not something to be proud of.

In any case, I hope she calms the hell down on the road.

Comments

[spotweld.livejournal.com]

From your report it sounds like you handled things with much more calm and poise than most would.

I would like to point out what sort of situation you would be in has you gotten more than just a tap when she blasted past you. A good clip could have tossed you right over. And she would have been out of sight and out of (her) mind before you could have gotten back on your own two feet.

A little reminder that there are other 'people' on the road and not just occasionally moving objects was probably a reality check she was in dire need of.

[protocat.livejournal.com]

You can hope, but likely there was no real motivation for her to change her actions. You just gave her something to complain about for a bit and an excuse for her to possibly build an even larger wall of self-justification and righteousness.

But, maybe I'm just cynical, because I'm also hoping you were smiling wide at her.

[badjahsensei.livejournal.com]

I bow. I've had that happen to me a few times--watching an agressive driver back down when I step out of the car with my best "chew 'em up and spit 'em out" sneer on my face. Just the fact that you got that response from her signifies a huge streak of guilt in her. You were right, and she knew it--and your size disarmed the "assertive woman" routine that most businesswomen use as an excuse to trample people.

As for the "big scary man" thing, I've had to deal with it a few times myself. I've always found that keeping your facts straight and sticking to our guns is your best defense. The sort of person who would play the "big scary man" card is likely to get so hysterical that they'll gum up their own accusations. The truth never hurt anyone...except the person trying to distort it. ;X)

[turbinerocks.livejournal.com]

You freaked her the hell out, which probably will do more to chill out her behavior than anything else. :D

Had an issue myself last night

[dustykat.livejournal.com]

I'm riding home from my Buell meeting last night and as I'm coming down Singletree Way with is about 1/4 mile long between the Camden turn off and my driveway which is a left off of Singletree.

So I ride down at a moderate pace, check my mirror for traffic behind me about half way down the street and see nobody so I'm relaxing. I get ready to lean left and turn into my drive and all of a sudden I have headlights to my left and I yank on the front brake!

I stop just in time to have a 4 door POS car slam on his brakes and almost plow into me. He was going to PASS ME ON A RESIDENTIAL STREET ON THE LEFT!!!

I gave him enough arm gestures to let him know that I really wasnt happy with him and that I WAS turning here. So he takes off into Tugs neighborhood that has only one other road leading out of it. Which makes me believe the guy lives near us. If I find the A**hole he WILL get a nice talking too from me about speeds and driving edicate on a city surface street. And I dont really care if I come off as "Big Scary Man". Because another 3 feet and I would be laying in a hospital or worse, a Morgue.

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you did good, Tugrik. Just stick with the facts. You didn't intentionally loom over anyone.

[pholph.livejournal.com]

There's so many times I wish I could just grunt and loom properly at the tards who drive like this. Too many people today have the "This is MY ROAD GET OFF OF IT NOW!" mentality.

Same people who get visibly -pissed- at me for daring to drive the speed limit. And blow past me the first instant possible... As if the extra minute will kill them.

However, I do agree quite alot, particularly around the whole "The Large Guy Can't Say Squat For Fear Of Getting Arrested" thing. I agree whole heartedly that had she called the cops, you'd've been at the station for questioning, not writing this entry. Wether in a Spooky shirt, or Business Suit.

Strange state of the world, when a guy is afraid of getting arrested for raising your voice in even trivial anger. Paranoia, because "He Might Have Been That One Man Really Does Be A Meanie"...

[raindance.livejournal.com]

Should've crushed her head.

[boingdragon.livejournal.com]

Now, if you really wanted to freak her out and teach her a lesson, you could have asked her to exchange insurance info because of the tap. Even if there wasn't damage, the fear of her insurance rates going up would probably stick with her longer than the shock of meeting a large person she'd just pissed off.

Hit 'em in the wallet, and they learn quick. }:)

[tuftears.livejournal.com]

Making her go 'eep' was letting her off easy. Oy. Glad you weren't on your bike.

[zrath.livejournal.com]

.

(Looms and grins...)

[perlandria.livejournal.com]

Oh, she was just being officially indignant 'cus it is a great card for a bitch to play. Unfortunately, it works often enough to be worth trying. As a short person, almost EVERYONE looms over me. You get used to it. You might be able to bonk me on the head easier, but I am automatically under your center of gravity and probably under your guard.
I'm glad you weren't seriously hurt.